Money And Partnership

Money represents all kinds of things for different people: power, security, freedom, happiness, love, equality or the lack of it, self worth, control, success. It should be no surprise then that money issues are one of the most contentious subjects for couples trying to find their way together.

"I want our expenses to be shared equally, and I don't feel that this is the case now".

"I want the freedom to spend some money on personal things without having to report every penny to my wife/husband/partner".

"I make more money than he/she does, so I should be able to do what I want with it."

"I think we should have separate checking accounts and manage our personal money separately."

"I think we should have joint accounts and pool our money."

"I'm the breadwinner, so I get to control how the money is spent."


These are just some of the kinds of issues that are common when starting to explore how money fits into a relationship. Ideally, couples can come to see and understand what money means to them, and so begin to see how their own relationship with money is played out with their partner. Then, while working to get support for the emotional meanings and vulnerabilities that money has for each of them, they can also begin to define real needs and areas where each can support the other in a truly collaborative, healthy, and rewarding partnership, whatever form that may end up taking.



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