Surprises Happen

I continue to be surprised by clients who, at times, seem to be able to find solutions to very distressing problems that simply wouldn't, or didn't occur to me. Not that I should be finding these solutions. After all, it is in the client's best interests, and it is the most liberating and the most empowering when they find their own solutions. Following the principle that each of us somehow knows, ultimately, what we need in a given situation, it shouldn't be too surprising when this sort of insight occurs, yet it is.

I can allow myself to experience my own biases as they arise in any situation, and I can allow myself to observe my inclination, my desire, to inform a client of what I think they ought to be doing, and it is part of the art and skill of good counseling not to do so at the wrong time. This is not to say that there are never situations in which it is appropriate to "direct" a client. There clearly are, either because the client is simply unable to "protect" her or himself, or because this is the most likely strategy to yield good results with a particular client. These "directions" are often delivered in the form of "suggestions", but sometimes they are more blatantly "instructions".

But when a client arrives at what seems and feels and looks like the right solution for themselves, this is a lovely and important moment in therapy and in life. And when it is outside of my own thinking on the subject, it is a sort of secret delight, and a pleasant surprise as well.

For me, it is one of those things that serves to bolster my faith in humanity, and in the potential of good therapy. Let the surprises begin!



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