Getting Involved With Teen Age Boys And Anger

Today I had my first experience working with an at-risk group of middle school boys, around the theme of anger. All of them had expressed that they wanted help with their anger, so my wife, who is the school's Wellness Counselor, and the creator of the group, asked me if I'd talk with them. She asked me because I have considerable professional - and personal -experience working with anger issues, and she thought I could help them.

You have to understand that I've spent my entire professional life saying that I don't work with teens, and in fact I haven't. So I was curious about how this would go. Why was I open to it at all, you might be wondering? Nancy and I attended a one day conference very recently, about the kinds of emotional/psychological/mentoring services that New Mexico boys are needing, and very often not getting. I've been finding myself, in the last couple of months maybe, becoming more open to the possibility of working with teens. I don't know why exactly, and this conference contributed to my willingness and to my interest, so I said I'd try it when Nancy asked.

I was delighted to experience this group of 13 boys, very sweet really, adolescently antsy, and virtually all of them willing to open up and share with me, a stranger to them, about their experiences with anger, what it looks like for them when it arises, and what they'd like to be different about it. I introduced them to some new ideas about the spectrum of anger possibilites, some basic information about the bio-chemical connection between anger and adrenaline, some corrections about some misconceptions regarding anger (like the unreality of wanting to "not get angry at all"), and some introductory encounter with the range of basic human feelings.

I'll be visiting with them again next week, and will invite them to do some role playing regarding the themes of anger in their lives. Of course, hands-on is a necessity with a group like this. The more they can be directly involved, the easier it will be for them to learn.



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