Monday, January 5, 2009

Whatever The Problem, You're Basically Good

This is a fundamental Buddhist tenet, as contrasted with, for example, a fundamental tenet of many (most?) forms of Christianity, which declares that we are, due to "original sin", basically bad, or sinful, or in some way damaged and in need of Divine redemption. The first view allows us to belive that we can make mistakes but that we are essentially worthy. The second view allows us to believe that we can try to do good things but that we are essentially unworthy.

I'm not a theologian, so I won't spend time trying to debate or detail the subtleties of either view. As a psychotherapist though, I see the psychological, emotional and spiritual injury and damage that the latter belief system creates for oh so many people. Whatever your religion may be, or if you have no formal religion, which system of beliefs would you prefer? What if it's actually true that we are, us humans, fundamentally good, even when we behave despicably? What if our despicable behaviors are the result of a deep seated ignorance, and not of an essential evilness? I'm also not interested in debating the question of whether or not "evil" exists. Suffice to say that "evil" behavior certainly seems to exist.

The point I'd like to make, from a therapeutic point of view, is that healing options and possibilities are considerably more accessible from the first position than from the second. If I can somehow come to believe, not simply because I want to, but from direct experience, that I am, and you are, and we all are basically whole and healthy and good, then I can take better care of myself, I can allow myself to be gentler and more compassionate with myself (and with you), and I can learn to forgive myself for the mistakes I've made and for the injuries I've caused. All of these traits contribute essentially to mental, emotional, spiritual and psychological health.

I can see myself, and you, as a fallible but good human being, and I can cultivate a level of acceptance that breeds wellbeing and happiness. Seems like a no-brainer when you think about it, yet it is remarkably difficult, often, for people to do. Old beliefs, and ways of relating, do indeed die hard. This is just one reason that it is very useful to have help making healthy changes.

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