Saturday, April 11, 2009

Choice Points

There are times in therapy, and they are very challenging times, when we arrive at what is sometimes called a "choice point". This occurs when, as a result of therapy progress, or life events, or a combination of factors, a client arrives at a juncture in their life; a crossroads. The question becomes then: "which direction do I take?" The options can be starkly differentiated. Often, one road represents the "old ways", a continuation of the direction from which one has come. The other road represents the "new me", a progression of the healing work that has been taking place in therapy. While it might seem an easy, or perhaps a simple choice to make, it is actually, typically, frought with inner conflict and turmoil, clashing loyalties, fear of the unknown vs. the comfort of the familiar, and direct challenges to one's courage and commitment to self.

Taking the road that continues the past can mean a dangerous journey away from healing, away from one's truth, away from one's Self. It can amount to a denial and a rejection of what one has come to experience as one's healthy core. Contemplating the "new" road comes with numerous difficulties of its own. It might mean turning away from what others in one's life want, or think is best. It might mean taking a leap of faith into unchartered psychological, emotional and spiritual territory, without even the comfort of what one has known all of one's life. It will certainly mean testing one's willingness and ability to trust: to trust oneself, as well as to trust the "bigger picture", or "higher power", or God, or The Universe, or simply what one has begun to tap into in one's own journey of health.

In a universe where there are few, if any, absolutes, we can perhaps take some consolation in the thought that nothing is absolutely right or wrong, and that whatever choices we make, while they will certainly have their effects and their consequences, might not be absolutely un-repairable. We can afford, perhaps, to make even serious mistakes, if we are willing to learn from them. While some people seem to need to be "hit over the head" by reality in order to learn from their mistakes, it is also possible to follow, or to learn to follow, more subtle cues. This, of course, requires practice and experience, and choice points are examples of opportunities which can provide this experience, and which can be built upon as we journey through life.

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